Yesterday I was plagued with self-doubt. I felt like a failure in my job, my blog, my friendships. With a bit of help from my friends I was able to pick myself up yesterday evening and feel more confident in my abilities.
When your confidence takes a knock, it can be hard to pick yourself back up. Especially when you have low self confidence to begin with. But there are 'cheats'; little ways to work on improving your confidence everyday. I know I need to follow such rules and build my confidence, and hopefully eradicate some of my self doubt.
Here are my tips for improving your confidence:
You're doing it all wrong. Whether it's slouching, slumping, or crossing your arms, you need to take note of your negative body language.
Amy Cuddy - Your body language shapes who you are talks you through how to not only be perceived as more confident, but in tricking yourself into feeling more confident too. It's all about the Power Stance.Don't slump, stand up straight, and take note of your posture.
I'm not good at this one. Like most Irish girls, when someone says 'I like your outfit', I reply with 'Thanks, Penneys'.
But it goes further than that. When someone says they think I'm a good writer I reply 'No, I'm not.' When someone says that talking about my mental health is courageous, I reply with 'No, it's not'. Let other people compliment you! Say thanks, and take it on board.
But more than that, start complimenting yourself. Look in the mirror and acknowledge you look good. Even if you did mess your eyeliner up for the 4,675th time.
Stop comparing yourself to others
The mirror doesn't airbrush you, so no, of course you don't look like a model. You are not a Kendall Jenner. But Kendall Jenner isn't you either. It's okay to look different to people in magazines. It's okay that your blog isn't about make-up and beauty. It's okay that you like comic books. Embrace being different. Everyone is unique, because otherwise the world would be a hell of a lot more boring.
It's simple, but effective. Smile more at people you know. Smile at strangers on public transport. Except maybe on Dublin Bus. And definitely not a creepy smile, you don't want to get arrested. When you smile, people smile back. It feels nice. It's a Win-Win situation.
Positive Mental Attitude
It's not easy, but try to be a 'glass half full' person. Or even a 'glass with a little bit of liquid' person. Try not to assume the worst. Try to find the good in every situation. Try not to make a bad situation worse. I've gotten pretty good at this over the last year. Sure, I was in a job I hated. But didn't I make a great group of friends in the process? Didn't I make the most of it and gain the experience I needed?
Look on the bright side. Find that tiny flicker of good and cling to it.
Celebrate the little things!
You got out of bed early to make it to work on time, of course you deserve that Starbucks!
Your blog got 100 views yesterday, that's amazing!
You wore suede boots and it didn't rain - yay!
It's okay to be happy when one little thing goes right. In fact, it builds up your confidence to take note of all the little things, pause and say 'Good Job'.
Surround yourself with positive people
And I don't mean people who walk around with a 'glass half full' attitude 24/7. I mean people who don't run you down. You don't people who are negative about every little achievement you have in your life.
"You're too young to have cellulite"
"I don't think you'll likeyour new job"Screw them. Be around supportive people who find the positive, are on your side and have your back.
Sometimes, you need some encouragement to get through the day. Whether it's going all Parks and Rec and leaving a positive voicemail for yourself, or just hanging up motivational posters on your wall like I do, remind yourself that you're awesome and you can do this.
Tips on creating your own positive affirmations can be found here.
It's not easy being confidently challenged (Do you like my new phrase?) but we can still make strides to improve our self-worth.