Wednesday, 26 August 2015

How to Improve your Confidence

Yesterday I was plagued with self-doubt. I felt like a failure in my job, my blog, my friendships. With a bit of help from my friends I was able to pick myself up yesterday evening and feel more confident in my abilities. 

When your confidence takes a knock, it can be hard to pick yourself back up. Especially when you have low self confidence to begin with. But there are 'cheats'; little ways to work on improving your confidence everyday. I know I need to follow such rules and build my confidence, and hopefully eradicate some of my self doubt.

Here are my tips for improving your confidence:
Change your body language

You're doing it all wrong. Whether it's slouching, slumping, or crossing your arms, you need to take note of your negative body language.
Amy Cuddy - Your body language shapes who you are talks you through how to not only be perceived as more confident, but in tricking yourself into feeling more confident too.  It's all about the Power Stance.Don't slump, stand up straight, and take note of your posture.


Compliment yourself
I'm not good at this one. Like most Irish girls, when someone says 'I like your outfit', I reply with 'Thanks, Penneys'.
But it goes further than that. When someone says they think I'm a good writer I reply 'No, I'm not.' When someone says that talking about my mental health is courageous, I reply with 'No, it's not'. Let other people compliment you! Say thanks, and take it on board.
But more than that, start complimenting yourself. Look in the mirror and acknowledge you look good. Even if you did mess your eyeliner up for the 4,675th time.

Stop comparing yourself to others
The mirror doesn't airbrush you, so no, of course you don't look like a model. You are not a Kendall Jenner. But Kendall Jenner isn't you either. It's okay to look different to people in magazines. It's okay that your blog isn't about make-up and beauty. It's okay that you like comic books. Embrace being different. Everyone is unique, because otherwise the world would be a hell of a lot more boring.

Smile
It's simple, but effective. Smile more at people you know. Smile at strangers on public transport. Except maybe on Dublin Bus. And definitely not a creepy smile, you don't want to get arrested. When you smile, people smile back. It feels nice. It's a Win-Win situation.

Positive Mental Attitude
It's not easy, but try to be a 'glass half full' person. Or even a 'glass with a little bit of liquid' person. Try not to assume the worst. Try to find the good in every situation. Try not to make a bad situation worse. I've gotten pretty good at this over the last year. Sure, I was in a job I hated. But didn't I make a great group of friends in the process? Didn't I make the most of it and gain the experience I needed?
Look on the bright side. Find that tiny flicker of good and cling to it.

Celebrate the little things!
You got out of bed early to make it to work on time, of course you deserve that Starbucks!
Your blog got 100 views yesterday, that's amazing!
You wore suede boots and it didn't rain - yay!
It's okay to be happy when one little thing goes right. In fact, it builds up your confidence to take note of all the little things, pause and say 'Good Job'.

Surround yourself with positive people
And I don't mean people who walk around with a 'glass half full' attitude 24/7. I mean people who don't run you down. You don't people who are negative about every little achievement you have in your life.
"You're too young to have cellulite"
"I don't think you'll likeyour new job"
Screw them. Be around supportive people who find the positive, are on your side and have your back.

Positive Affirmations
Sometimes, you need some encouragement to get through the day. Whether it's going all Parks and Rec and leaving a positive voicemail for yourself, or just hanging up motivational posters on your wall like I do, remind yourself that you're awesome and you can do this.
Tips on creating your own positive affirmations can be found here.



It's not easy being confidently challenged (Do you like my new phrase?) but we can still make strides to improve our self-worth.

xoxo

30 comments:

  1. Excellent advice Zoë. I admire the way you write. I love the gentle tone to your words. Gentle yet very meaningful!

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    1. Aw thank you Gloria. And thank you for sharing my post as well :) xx

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  3. I have no confidence in myself either and the tips you provided will be a great help. One thing that I do that helps me face the day is dress up nice and put on some make up. If I think I look good, then usually it helps me feel good too.

    joyfullantidotes.wordpress.com

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    1. Joy I do the exact same! It's probably why I spend so much money on clothes to be honest. I like to think I look pretty, and then I'll have more confidence talking to people for sure :)

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  4. Some really good tips here! I also struggle with confidence, whilst suffering with anxiety + MH issues and i definately need to take these on board!

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    1. I'm hoping I can take them on board too Sian! Celebrating the little things is my big one at the minute :) x

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  5. Great post, it's so important to remember to be kind to ourselves. I really loved the idea of celebrating the little things too, will definitely be trying that from now on.

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    1. Hope you find it helpful Cliona :) x

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  6. These are all very good tips. Sometimes easier said than done though! It's crazy cuz my anxiety makes my body shake, face and hands sweat, major heart palpitations and a pain in my chest... but in my mind I'm normal. It's like my mind isn't strong enough to control my physical reaction to anxiery as well as the mental reaction. Weird aren't i! X

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  7. These are all very good tips. Sometimes easier said than done though! It's crazy cuz my anxiety makes my body shake, face and hands sweat, major heart palpitations and a pain in my chest... but in my mind I'm normal. It's like my mind isn't strong enough to control my physical reaction to anxiery as well as the mental reaction. Weird aren't i! X

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    1. Definitely easier said than done Jo! Awh no that sounds really tough! I think sometimes we can convince ourselves we're fine, but our body knows otherwise and reacts to the stress. It's definitely happened to me where I don't feel nervous and worried about the next day, but I can't sleep; my body just won't shut down! We should probably listen to our bodies more than we do :) x

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  8. Great tips! I don't take compliments well either but I just feel it doesn't look good to say "oh yes, thank you" ;)

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    1. That's a good point Gaby! I think I was trying to make the case that we shouldn't run ourselves down when we get a compliment. Maybe rather than saying 'No, I'm not very good', or 'Yes, I'm great aren't I?' there's a middle ground? 'Awh thank you, I've been working really hard at that so I'm delighted you like it!' x

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  9. Just this week I made a note to stop comparing myself to others and to celebrate the little things that I am very fortunate to have in my life. Great inspirational post :-) x

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    1. Thank you Jade! That's such a great plan, I hope you start to see the positive difference it can make soon :) x

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  10. I think surrounding yourself with positive people is a great starting point. Negativity just brings people down and it's something we could all do without! Great post - I agree with everything you said :)

    Louise x

    With love from Lou

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    1. Thank you Louise! The people around you have such a huge impact on your mental health, but you rarely consider whether they're part of the problem when you're down. x

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  11. This is a really great post Zoe, and one I may have to read every now and then! I always rely on friends to give me the boost I need when I'm lacking in confidence - they are amazing at cheering me up! It' so easy to fall into a little bubble of self doubt, but like some of the tips you have given, I pick myself up and 'act' confident and that really does help xxx

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    1. Aww I hope some of these will really help you! I need to keep looking back on the list as well x

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  12. great tip Zoe, think we all need to compliment ourselves more and positive affirmations

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    1. Yes! I totally agree. Hopefully I can start now that I've written it down :)

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  13. It's very hard to keep positive when my bloody windows 10 upgrade has left me unable to access the Internet on my laptop and therefore blog! Ahhhh!

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    1. Hahaha, oh no! I have such dodgy internet at the minute and it's definitely not helping me stay positive either.

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  14. I put myself down a lot and my partner always tells me not to. I find it difficult to accept compliments when I don't really like myself x

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    1. Aw sweetie I'm exactly the same. I think that's why we dismiss the nice things people say to us. But we shouldn't, because you are worth every compliment you get and more <3

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  15. Some fab tips here. I really struggle to accept compliments as I have no self confdence.

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    1. I feel the same most of the time too, but I really think it boosts your confidence to be accepting of compliments? At least that's what I'm trying to do now :) x

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  16. Great post, it is important to surround oneself with positive people, i love smiling i think it helps me a lot with my confidence and how i perceive certain situations

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    1. I love how much you've taken some of these points on in your everyday life without realising you had Miranda! They really do help your self-esteem!

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