Friday, 22 April 2016

NotSorry Method

The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck 

“The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.” 
― Jules Renard, The Journal of Jules Renard
If like me you felt decluttering your room didn't clear all your clutter, then I have the solution.
Having read Marie Kondo's decluttering bible 'The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up', Sarah Knight decided that she needed a mental decluttering. So she wrote the rather rudely titled book, 'The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck'. It's a parody of Kondo's book; but behind the fun title the book does have a pretty good message. Don't be put-off by the name, Knight actually has some incredible advice on how to free yourself from the things you don't care about.

If you are overextended and overburdened by life, physical tidying isn't enough. Like me, you may be in need for a mental clean-up and in need of purging the things that bring you down. Whether it's a job, a friend, social media, traffic jams - it's time to get rid of the things that cause you stress and take-up your valuable free time.
Earlier this month, I wrote about 'Spinning-your-wheels' and the perils of multi-tasking to avoid your real mental health issues. Often, people with depression take on too much as a coping mechanism for their illness. The definition applied to me, and I could see how I risked burning myself out if I didn't start to prioritise and cut-out the unnecessary things from my life. This is where Knight's book comes in.

To rival the KonMari Method for decluttering, Knight has developed the NotSorry Method.

The NotSorry Method
The method has two steps:
  1. Decide what you don't give a f*ck about
  2. Not giving a f*ck about these things
Simple, right? When I look at my to-do lists and my schedule, I feel overburdened. But now I must look at it in a new light - Do I care about each of these tasks? Do I really want to keep going to that fitness class? Do I want to make time for that old friend when we have nothing in common?
It's about priortising what is important to you, and identifying which things you do that you hate, but do anyway out of habit or a sense of obligation.
Look at your to-do list, your schedule and invites and ask yourself one question - Does it annoy? If you answer 'yes', stop caring and discard. Don't be sorry about the things you give up. You don't need an excuse to stop doing something you no longer enjoy. We need to embrace the things that we do like and make more time for joy.
This helpful diagram from her book summarizes the NotSorry Method and helps you to decide what should go and what should stay.

In her book, Knight says we must "visualize how happy and carefree you would be if you stopped giving all these f*cks." Sounds good doesn't it? Yes, but no more swearing, I promise.

It's simple; think about what it is you really care about, do that, and spend more time doing that.
If we all did that, we would cultivate so much happiness. And isn't that exactly what the Romeo Project has aimed to do?

So stop making excuses. Stop accepting invitations purely because you feel 'you have to'. Stop taking on additional work projects because you don't like saying 'no'.
Say no.
Say Not Sorry.
And live YOUR life. 

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